My Sister's Husband Page 3

  “We have a shower here.”

  “I want to pack some clothes that fit a bit better than the stuff I have here. I’ll stay here at least until after the funeral.”

  Dad starts to protest. “You don’t have to do that, Kelsey…”

  “I know,” I say. I put my hand on my mom’s shoulders and squeeze. “I want to. I just… I want to be with family right now. I miss her.”

  “Me, too,” my mom finally says. “Thank you, Kelsey.”

  “I love you both,” I say. I start to head to the door until I remember I don’t have my car. “Dad, can you drive me to the restaurant? I left my car there last night. Mom’s is there, too.”

  “Sure, sweetheart,” he says. “Are you okay by yourself, Gail?”

  Mom sniffles. “I’d like to come, actually. I should be okay to drive the car home. It’s not far.”

  My dad looks unsure, but we both know there’s no point arguing with my mom. The three of us drive silently to the restaurant. I wait until my mom has driven off to get in my own car and head to my apartment.

  Just inside my apartment door, I pause at the photo of my sister and me on my graduation day. Jane has on the biggest smile. She told me she was so proud of me for finishing college when she hadn’t. My eyes burn with tears. Woodenly, I make my way into the bathroom.

  I turn my shower on. The heavy pound of the spray makes my mind whirl. Because I should feel ashamed about sleeping with my brother in law, but in fact, I don’t. I just feel good, my pussy pleasantly sore and nerve ends tingling.

  Plus, is he technically still my brother in law if my sister is gone? I’m not sure how it works, but I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to sleep with him regardless. My sister just died yesterday, and a few hours later I had sex with her husband. God.

  Thankfully, Marcus was still asleep when I woke up this morning. The last thing I wanted was an awkward morning-after conversation with him. I’d be lying if I said I never considered walking into the guest room for rounds two, three, four, and five last night when I was tossing and turning trying to fall asleep. I’m proud to say that I didn’t.

  I drop my college t-shirt and ratty sweatpants to the bathroom floor. The movement feels familiar, like last night when Marcus and I were stripping each other down. I shake the delicious thought from my head.

  The hot water feels great on my tortured skin. It reminds me of Marcus’s lips all over my body last night.

  Oh god. A moan escapes my lips because I can’t get his touch out of my head. The way he sucked my clit until I came. His fingers inside of me. His rock hard cock pounding me so hard we nearly broke the couch. My pussy starts to get wet just thinking about it.

  I grab my washcloth and start to lather body wash all over in an attempt to distract myself from thoughts of last night. I get between my legs and find a white, sticky glob leaking from my still tender hole. It’s Marcus’s cum!

  My first instinct is to lick the substance from my fingers, but I let the shower rinse it off instead. I bet he tastes as amazing as he feels when he’s pounding me so hard.

  Shit! Suddenly, I jerk upright. He came inside me. The ramifications hit a moment later.

  My heart pounds in my ears. I’m not on birth control. I never really saw the point. Guys aren’t lining up at my door to fuck the curvy brunette with junk in the trunk and a big bottom to boot. And the few romps I’ve had in the last few years have always included condoms or pulling out. No guy has ever finished inside of me. But I was so caught up in the moment that it didn’t even occur to me to tell Marcus to wear a condom or pull out. Instead, I begged him to cum inside me like a slutty whore.

  I’m such an idiot. I could have gotten pregnant! In fact, I could be preggo right now.

  That’s it, this can’t happen again.

  Even though I really, really want it to happen again.

  Last night was stupid and reckless. We were both upset about my sister’s death and we sought solace in each other’s arms. That’s it. It had nothing to do with the fact that I’ve lusted after him since the first time Jane introduced him to the family.

  And yet last night was incredible, I won’t lie. Absolutely the best sex I’ve ever had. Not that I have a ton of experience in that department, but still. It was really good. And I would totally take round two.

  But I can’t.

  Because he was married to my sister, who just died. And having sex with him was already so stupid of me. Letting him cum in me? Amateur move. That just goes to show that my judgment was impaired. Having sex with Marcus was an anomaly. It can’t happen again.

  I rinse the suds from my body and dry myself off. My parents are expecting me so we can discuss funeral arrangements for my sister.

  I take an old backpack from my college days that I’d stashed in the bottom of my closet and fill it with some jeans, shirts, and undergarments. I also toss in my pajamas so I can sleep comfortably at my parents’ house for the next week or so.

  That should tide me over in terms of regular clothing, but I need something to wear to the wake and funeral. My sister’s wake and funeral.

  I’ve only been to a couple of funerals, so I don’t exactly have a lot of appropriate attire. Jane’s favorite color was blue, and I have a somber navy blouse that she especially liked. I fold it carefully and slip it into the backpack. She would appreciate the slight variation of color at her funeral. She was never an all-black clothing kind of girl.

  But I still need a dress of some sort. Fortunately, I have a conservative black dress squished in the back that I wore to an interview a couple years ago. I’m sure it’ll still fit. It’ll look good paired with a dark blue cardigan I have. It’s exactly the kind of thing Jane would expect me to wear to her funeral, I think.

  Once I’m packed, I make sure everything that could cause a fire is unplugged, my windows are closed, and my door is locked tight. I say goodbye to my apartment – and my privacy – for a while.

  Back at my parents’ house, my mom and dad have showered and changed into respectable clothing. There are flowers lining the once empty counter space.

  “Kelsey,” says Robert in a faint voice. “I’m so glad you’re here. Word has gotten around about Jane. We’ve had more visitors than have ever seen this house.”

  On cue, the doorbell rings. Mom wipes her eyes again and heads to answer it.

  “Listen, Kelsey,” my dad says. “Your mom … she’s rightfully upset.”

  I can tell. Normally, Gail won’t shut up. She’s a chatterbox, going on and on about gardening, bridge, and tennis at the country club. But she’s barely uttered a word since she got the news about Jane.

  “It would be a big help if you would go see the funeral home director. Everything’s paid for already since Janie had life insurance. It’s just a matter of discussing the arrangements. I don’t think your mom and I could handle it,” he gulps. “That’s not how it’s supposed to work,” he adds in an agonized voice. “She was our child. We can’t … would you please go and finalize everything?”

  Dad chokes on his tears as he tries to get the words out. How am I supposed to say no? I want to scream and say I shouldn’t be planning my sister’s funeral right now, either, but I can’t. Robert looks so defeated. His face has taken on extra wrinkles, his hair greyer than it was just yesterday.

  “Of course, Daddy,” I say, wiping away a tear of my own. “I’ll take care of everything.”

  “I’ll help,” a deep voice says from behind me. “She was my wife. It’s my responsibility.”

  I whirl to meet Marcus’s penetrating blue gaze, and to my shame, my heart begins beating erratically. He’s your brother in law! my conscience screams. Stop this!

  But I can’t. Marcus has always had this effect on me, and even my sister’s untimely death doesn’t change that.

  My dad nods silently. Mom returns with a casserole and another bouquet of flowers to add to the growing piles.

  “Robert, we’re going to need to donate these flowers somewhere.
I can’t look at them. All I see is my sweet Janie.” Mom bursts into tears. I throw my arm around her narrow shoulders in sympathy as they’re wracked in sobs.

  “We’ll take them, Mom. We can drop them off at the nursing home before we go to the funeral home.”

  Mom sniffles and nods. “Thank you, Kelsey.” She takes my hand in hers. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  “It’s okay,” I say gently. “I love you Mom.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Dad joins our hug for a few moments until we finally break apart, our tears subsiding. “We should get going.”

  Marcus agrees. “I can drive.”

  “Okay,” I say.

  He’s changed into an outfit he must have left in the guest room a while back. The sleeves of the t shirt squeeze his defined arms. My mouth waters hungrily at the sight, although it’s so wrong.

  I remind myself we’re going to plan my sister’s funeral and I need to stop these feelings. But then Marcus meets my eyes and they’re full of heat and desire, the same things I saw in them last night.

  Shit.

  This is going to be harder than I thought.

  Chapter Five

  Kelsey

  My arms feel damp inside my cardigan despite the air conditioning in the funeral home.

  I never imagined my sister’s death, but if it had crossed my mind at all throughout the years, I would have assumed it would be many, many years down the road. But instead, her funeral’s happening today.

  After three days of relentless tears, I thought I wouldn’t have anything left to cry. I was wrong. The tears come hard and fast, like the Great Flood streaming down my face and dripping off my chin.

  And yet the setting’s somewhat beautiful. At the entrance to the funeral home, we set up a collage of photos of Jane. It was one of the recommendations they had for Marcus and me when we came a few days ago to finalize everything. The photo collage was my project for the last few days. It kept me away from Marcus and it made me feel closer to my sister.

  I pause in front of my handiwork. On the right-hand corner is my favorite photo. It’s of Jane and me on a trip we took, just the two of us, right after I graduated high school. We didn’t make a plan, merely hopping into Jane’s car and driving for a few hours until we found a cute little town to stop in. The photo was taken by the innkeeper at the bed and breakfast where we stayed for a week. We’re both smiling like it’s the happiest day of our lives. It was certainly one of the best days we shared together.

  Tears pool in my eyes and I wipe them with one of the hundreds of tissues I packed in my purse for today.

  I’m going to keep that photo after this is over.

  “It’s time,” my dad says from behind me. “People are arriving. It’s proper for the… family… to line up by the… by the…” He breaks down in tears. I pull my heartbroken dad to my chest and rub his back while he sobs. My own tears come full force again as I witness my dad’s millionth breakdown.

  “I can’t believe she’s gone,” I sob into his shoulder. “We were just… she was just here, you know?”

  It hits me all at once, the loss of my sister. I’ve known it was true since Mom got the call but it didn’t feel real until this moment. My sister is really gone.

  My dad and I collapse to the floor. Funeral guests spot us clinging to each other, but no one makes a comment. I lost my sister, and my dad lost his daughter. We’re allowed to break down.

  “Robert, Kelsey,” a deep voice says softly. I recognize Marcus immediately but can’t bring myself to meet his eyes. “Come on now. We need to get in there.”

  Dad nods against me and moves to stand up. He fixes his suit coat and adjusts his tie, but doesn’t bother brushing the salt water from his face. “Let’s go, Kelsey. We should get in there.”

  Marcus and Dad help me up even though I’d much rather stay on the ground where I can retreat into myself and my grief. I haven’t been able to walk into the main funeral parlor because we opted for an open casket and I can’t bear to see Jane’s silent pale face and still body.

  Dad moves slowly into the parlor where my mother cries quietly beside my sister’s form. The interior of the casket is hidden from view from this angle. I stand at the doorway and try to force myself to walk in, but I can’t. My feet are magnetized to the ground.

  “She looks beautiful,” Marcus says. “They did a good job with her.”

  “She shouldn’t be here at all. How did this happen? How is she gone?” I say in an agonized gasp.

  My body is once again wracked with heaving sobs. My beautiful, full of life sister reduced to a make-up covered corpse in a fancy wooden box. Life isn’t fair. Why do people have to die? Why do we get all of this time – or barely any time at all – to make memories, to live and learn, only to lose our consciousness to death? Death doesn’t hurt the person who dies, it hurts everyone else. We’re left with only memories of my sister. Death isn’t fair. It doesn’t care how many people loved you. It comes for everyone, and it came for Jane too soon.

  Marcus rubs my back as my sobs turn to hiccups. “I know, Kelsey. It’s not fair.”

  I need to keep my distance from Marcus, but right now I need a connection and he’s the only one close enough to give it to me. I wrap my arms around his neck. His hands immediately find my hips and pull me against him. I ignore the growing heat between us and focus on the gaping hole in my heart.

  Someone behind us clears their throat. I turn to find my mother’s sister gawking at my closeness to Marcus. “Kelsey, sweetheart, don’t you think you should be with your parents? You too, Marcus. It’s only proper that the family of the deceased be there to greet mourners.”

  My aunt emphasizes the word family like she can sense what happened between Marcus and me the day Jane died. I take a deliberate step away from Marcus and adjust my dress, taking the moment to also dry off my sweaty palms.

  “You’re right, Aunt Sylvia. We should join my parents.”

  I take a deep breath and walk towards my mother and father, keeping my eyes trained on their sunken faces. When I finally reach them, I glance at the open box beside us and drop to my knees.

  “Oh, Jane,” I cry. Marcus is right, they did a great job making Jane look presentable and almost alive once again. It’s eerie, hands down. “How could this have happened?”

  My mom puts a hand on my shoulder, surprising me. I guess she’s gotten her emotions out already, so she’s able to give me some of her strength. I reach into the casket and take hold of my sister’s hand. I expect it to feel cold with death or warm with life, but it feels almost like plastic. Like she’s a doll, not a human. My hand releases hers and it falls back onto the satin lining with a quiet thump.

  For the second time today, Dad brings me to my feet. Marcus takes the post closest to her casket. I opt for the furthest spot. Being near her is a comfort and a curse at the same time. The distance will help me make it through this agonizing ceremony, I hope.

  Family members form a line to pay their respects to Jane. I greet each mourner as pleasantly as I can as they pass by me, but my mind continues to wander other places. Does Jane even know that so many people came to say goodbye to her after death? Would she care? If she can see us somehow, does she know what I did with her husband just hours after we learned of her death?

  The thought makes me shudder just in time for Aunt Sylvia to take my hand. She tsks at me.

  “You should be careful, Kelsey,” she says sternly. She keeps her voice low so no one but me can hear, not that anyone else is paying us any mind. “You’ve just lost a sister and her husband just lost a wife.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I whisper back.

  She tsks again, eyes glinting like a snake. “I see the way you look at that man. Keep your wits about you, girl, before you do something you regret. Don’t bring shame onto this family. Don’t tarnish your sister’s good name.”

  With that, my aunt leaves to find her seat for the servic
es. Her words ring in my ears for the rest of the viewing. My aunt is right. I need to stop thinking about Marcus. Nothing good can come from us spending too much time together.

  I angle my body towards the casket and find Marcus’s eyes on me, his gaze smoldering. If we weren’t standing in front of my sister’s dead body, I would think he was undressing me with those eyes. I bite my lip and his tongue darts out from between his. Shit. He’s definitely thinking about our night together, and so am I. The wetness builds between my legs. I fight to ignore it.

  I move my stare over the growing crowd seated in the parlor and my gaze clashes with Aunt Sylvia. There’s a knowing look on her face. She shakes her head at me, a reminder of her warning.

  If only she knew. All her warnings? It’s too late. I already committed the cardinal sin. I already slept with my dead sister’s husband.

  And if Marcus keeps staring at me the way he is right now, I just might do it again.

  Chapter Six

  Kelsey

  After the last of the mourners pay their respects to Jane and hug their way through our small family, I take my designated seat in the front of the funeral home. My parents and Marcus disappear into the hallway while the director prepares the parlor for the services. We decided to do the wake and funeral at the same time to save money, even though Jane’s life insurance is paying for the whole thing.

  Finally alone for the first time since the wake began, I lean back in my seat and close my eyes. The breath I’ve held all day escapes my tired lungs. My aunt’s accusation echoes in my head. Keep your hands off your sister’s husband, she warned. But what would Aunt Sylvia do if she knew that all the lines have already been crossed?

  “Kelsey, we need your help,” my dad says. I slowly open my eyes until his tearful face comes into focus.

  “What’s wrong?”

  What else could go wrong this week? Our lives have already been permanently darkened by my sister’s passing.